Category: Line Offline: Salaryman

Just another day in the office for Mr. Moon…

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And so begins another week of Salaryman – but first, an interlude. Jessica and Moon have taken time out of their busy work schedules to teach you all how to do the Russian Chair Dance, popular with the Soviets and the next big Youtube hit in the making. Better start doing those knee exercises so you don’t strain anything!

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Office Etiquette Guideline #100: Well, it seems as though, yet again, no one listened to the previous guideline about workplace-approved games. Rock-Paper-Scissors is not on the list of acceptable games, therefore we wash our hands of any and all related injuries and ill-tempered tirades. If a bear claws your eyes out, don’t come crying to me, young man!

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Office Etiquette Guideline #99: Never, under any circumstances, play dominos at work. It may start off as all fun and games, and you might even get creative with different-coloured box files, but inevitably, the heat of competition will turn violent. The above photograph (Exhibit A) is CCTV footage of the shock on a murderer’s face when she emerged from her rage-induced psychotic killing spree to find that she had brutally butchered all of her co-workers. All over a game of dominos. The only work-friendly game that can be played in work time is Solitaire.

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Office Etiquette Guideline #70: While it may seem like a good idea at the time, mooning your co-workers to illustrate a point is frowned upon, no matter how relevant they may be to your conversation (this includes but is not limited to stories about ass warts and hemorrhoids). The above reaction is what is most likely to occur, followed by a fairly hefty lawsuit for sexual harassment. Also, announcing it as a rebuttal while you’re pulling down your pants and exposing your apple-shaped derriere is no longer funny.

While you’re waiting for the police to pick you up for indecent exposure, watch this handy promotional video we’ve made on what you’re meant to do when you work in an office:

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Office Etiquette Guideline #49: If you end up going Chris Brown on your wife with a frying pan, it’s probably best not to tell your work colleagues, as they probably won’t be as understanding as you’d hope they’d be. Incidents like this can lead to frosty atmospheres in the workplace, so if all’s not well in the marital home, please keep it to yourself.

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